2008 / Joshua Seftel > Those who are looking for John Cusack to be John Cusack, or those who want to see Hilary Duff put on an Eastern European accent and mimic Britney as popstar Yonica Babyyeah, War, Inc. is a good watch. But if it’s biting political satire that is being sought, it’s probably better to go back to Bulworth or Wag the Dog because this script doesn’t know what it wants to be or who it wants to offend. It’s heavy-handed and a total waste of a good setup considering how relevant the film could be in current society.

2008 / Mitchell Lichtenstein > While the idea behind Teeth is a boy’s worst nightmare, the failed opportunity at making something bigger, more interesting and/or important out of the story is arguably much worse. Jess Weixler puts in a nice enough performance on a script that is light on ideas, heavy on redundancy. It doesn’t stick as either a horror film or a character study, but may do its job as a quaint little public service announcement for abstinence.

2008 / Roland Emmerich > Talk about making Apocalypto look like a bloody masterpiece. 10,000 BC is a ridiculous waste of a $105mn budget even if the CGI looks fantastic. The pacing is atrocious, the editing is sloppy and the story is silly. Throw in the beautiful Camille Belle, all you have here is eye candy and nothing else. Probably a great thing to put on the television while you vacuum.

2008 / Pete Travis > Vantage Point is surprisingly enjoyable, though it lacks the sort of depth that’s necessary for a politically charged action/mystery to be intellectually satisfying. It’s sharply cut, adequately acted and has enough semblance of a story to forget that beneath this tiger, there’s actually no engine.

2008 / Matt Reeves > Effectively an extra-long episode of The O.C. with a monster in it, Cloverfield uses and abuses the amateur camera technique to a level where it’s more annoying than satisfying. But the worst thing about the film may be that it tries to put the lives of people who we really could care less about above the story of the monster, which is a terrible, terrible waste of opportunity.

2008 / Jimmy Hayward & Steve Martino > It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen an animated film this simple and innocent yet so enjoyable. Aside from all the logical messes that may exist in Horton Hears a Who! (after all, this is based on a Dr. Seuss story), the silly but smart humor, the optimism and hope and the succinct running time make it one of the best family films to come out in some time.

2007 / Jim Wynorski > “What’s that?” The magical phrase is, according to the director Wynorski’s count, uttered at least 18 times in the film. What could that be? It’s sheer brilliance, I tell you. From the opening deaths of idyllic teenagers lost in the arid caves of Utah, I knew I was in for a special treat. It didn’t mean much that the film echoed scenes from the famed Jurassic Park contemporary Carnosaur—these were obviously of much higher budget, especially when the screen turns green to identify with the raptors’ point of view. (Yes, that was plural. There are multiple raptors in the film! Have you invited your friends over yet?!)

Wynorski, also known as Jay Andrews and H. R. Blueberry, is the man behind a substantial amount of late night Cinemax classics such as Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade and The Bare Wench Project. In Raptor, he hones his technical mastery with the help of master filmmaker Roger Corman. The final product is a seamless composite of what feels like three, four or even five films! But in reality, it is only one. Anyone who has told you otherwise has been deceived into belittling the good names of Wynorski and Corman. Why else would Golden Globe-nominated Corbin Bernsen take a key role as the evil Mr. Hyde?

I do have a minor complaint: Blonde bombshell Melissa Brasselle (who is currently starring in Danny Bonaduce’s VH1 cult-hit I Know My Kid’s a Star) is a bit of a distraction from the glorious beauty of the raptors. For some reason, Wynorski strategically decided to utilize her in rather tight-fitting outfits and in scandalous positions, often opposite the splendid Eric Roberts. Roberts, by the way, hasn’t been this spot on since the original Best of the Best. The manner in which he battles the alpha raptor in the end makes Sigourney Weaver look like an absolute chump in Aliens. “Take that, Barney!” might be one of the most important lines of our lifetime, as many of us grew up thinking and wanting to do similar violent acts to our purple-furred friend.

What Spielberg started, Wynorski and Corman have finished. There can be no other film about raptors after this. It is conclusive evidence that we should not meddle with our genes or stem cell research because all it will do is kill the neighborhood kids, your daughter’s boyfriend, your co-worker, that guy who drives the truck full of chickens across state borders so that illegally implanted raptor babies can be kept in a cage away from society, Corbin Bernsen and lots of really mean looking military guys. Raptor is a cinematic achievement that parallels Fellini’s 8&#189 in innovation, and supercedes the science-fiction philosophy of 2001. (It’s also better than many films that don’t contain numbers in their titles.) Thanks for the recommendation Lucid Screening.

2007 / Joe Swanberg > The backlash against “mumblecore” generally tends to be driven by the fact that these films always focus on middle-class, post-graduate white kids who do nothing but complain about their lives. But this is arguably the best social class through which to canvass this topic. If Whit Stilmann’s Metropolitan was a satirical look at the upper-class who excel at discussion and inaction, and the Hughes Brothers’ Menace II Society commands attention because it tries to portray the lack of options in the urban ghetto, films like Hannah Takes the Stairs competently approach the social classes in between who have myriad possibilities of both success and failure. And whether this optionality is displayed through lack of interest in one’s occupation or discontent in relationships is often the deciding factor between the film, the viewer and whether the experience will be enjoyable.

Having miserably failed at watching Andrew Bujalski’s Funny Ha Ha, I stayed away from most films in the sub-genre until this Swanberg vehicle. Co-writer and star Greta Gerwig’s endearing yet infuriating title character is composed of some of the best and worst bits of ourselves and our loved ones—past and present. By the time the final two scenes come around, everything kind of, sort of, actually makes sense. The cerebral aspect of the film suddenly subsides to let the emotive aspect sneak through and, in the process, lets the viewer do the same. If mood was ever a critical ingredient of a film’s success, this may just be it.

2007 / Justin Theroux > It’s easy to say that quirky indie-romances are all the rage these days, and it’s even easier for Dedication to be slapped with that same label. But what I found amazing is that underneath it all, this is a re-modeled formulaic romantic dramedy with better music (by Au Revoir Simone and the surprisingly soothing Deerhoof), better acting and a better story. It isn’t perfect, and it isn’t going to end up on any all-time lists, but what the film does is put a refreshing coat on an otherwise conventional plot and charms us from end to end. It’s an admirable directorial debut by Theroux, backed by a superb performance by Billy Crudup as the misanthropic lead who’s trying to figure out how to get along with substitute illustrator Mandy Moore after his long-time collaborator, played aptly as always by Tom Wilkinson, passes away. The star, though, may be the script by David Bromberg, with its tight, sharp dialogue and memorable banter.

2008 / Doug Liman > It didn’t bother me when Liman said in an interview that Jumper was the final part of his “sell-out trilogy.” After all, both The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith were relatively smart, enjoyable fares. But apparently he was setting up the pre-emptive strike on a piece of shit: How Liman took a brilliant premise and muddled it into an episode of The O.C. (Rachel Bilson included) with intriguing yet ignored sci-fi elements is beyond me. What really, absolutely kills it: The sequel is in the works. This act of hypocrisy almost single-handedly negates the goodwill from Swingers and the rather underrated Go and turns Liman into a poseur until proven otherwise.